Persuasive writing examples: what assessors actually reward.

The short answer

Three things separate persuasive writing that works from persuasive writing that merely looks the part, and all three are stated plainly in the assessors’ own reports.

1. A contention carries a position and its reason together. Not a bare yes or no — a claim with the grounds already attached, so the piece has somewhere to go.
2. Argument and language are one thing, not two. Victorian assessors reported that many students “appeared to see argument and language as separate elements of the text rather than as interconnected elements” VCE-03.
3. Naming a technique is not analysing it.VCAA has said this in near-identical words for more than six years: identification is “only the very beginning of analysis” VCE-20. The one criticism ever reported as improving — simplistic technique-listing — had by 2025 re-emerged as generic analysis of “very familiar linguistic devices” VCE-24.

What actually declined, and where

Average NAPLAN persuasive writing scores fell nationally from 2011 to 2018, and more sharply in the secondary years than in primary WRI-01. The useful detail is not the headline but the split: the two year bands did not decline in the same way. The year-by-year national figures behind that fall are set out in the annual results, and the bands those raw scores are reported against are explained in NAPLAN proficiency levels.

Spelling was the only criterion that improved WRI-03. That matters for how a student spends practice time: a Year 8 writer working on persuasive devices is often working on the thing that did not slip, while punctuation and sentence structure — which did — go unattended because they feel like lower-order concerns.

One qualification worth stating, because it is usually left out: this decline is specific to persuasive writing. Narrative writing over the shorter window it was assessed was comparatively stable to slightly improved WRI-05. “Writing is declining” is too broad a claim for the evidence behind it. What the test actually measures, who sits it, and what a decade of national results does and does not show are set out in what NAPLAN actually is.

Why so much of it reads the same

Australia’s 2020 independent NAPLAN Review found that restricting the test to two genres, with the genre often announced in advance, “led to very formulaic writing in students’ responses to the prompt and, as a further unintended consequence, to very formulaic teaching of writing in some schools” TST-11. The review recommended the writing test be withdrawn from census testing and redeveloped.

This is the honest context for every persuasive-writing model answer online, including the ones ranking above this page: a template reliably produces a middling piece, and the assessors have been saying for years that the middling piece is exactly what they are seeing too much of.

Real student pieces, read closely

Rather than invented samples, these are persuasive pieces written by students in the practice, published with their consent and credited to them — each read for what the writing does, not for what it scored.

• Schools Should Balance AI — Martin

The full collection of student persuasive pieces sets these alongside the techniques they were taught with. For the evidence itself, with every claim quoted and cited, see the register’s writing and VCE English domains.

Working on this with someone

Argo Academics is a one-to-one English tutoring practice in Melbourne. Callum Hay teaches every lesson personally. If the sentence-level control this page describes is what your child is missing, that is the kind of thing a weekly lesson is for.

If you are not sure which of these is missing, the two-minute diagnostic asks what you have seen in their writing rather than what it scored.